I am cold! I am sitting at my desk in my office wearing my hoodie, sweats and warm socks. It’s about 59 degrees today here in sunny Florida. My friends Deb and Jeff and the kids are off on the Pirate Ship tour boat that leaves out of Clearwater beach every day. They wanted me to join them.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! No Freakin’ way. It’s cold in here, with the heat on, in my jacket, with the hood up …IN MY WOOOLY SOCKS FOR GODSAKE!
Meanwhile, back on the boat, the family from Virginia who escaped 14 inches of snow by bailing out of the Roanaoke Airport after waiting over 24 hours for the airport guys to shovel off the runways and warm up the planes, are riding on a big red pirate boat on the water in the sunny Gulf of Mexico … probably wooooo hoooooing.
I am a wimp. I am not in denial about this. I hate to be cold. This is why I left my home state of Jersey and moved to Florida which, though devoid of culture, overall intelligence and people under the age of 75 ….. is warm … usually. Yesterday, when I took my friends to the beach, there were surfers. I admit that for once, there was also surf which could be why these brain trusts were out there in wet suits instead of in a nice warm bar drinking hot rum beverages. In New Jersey, guys surf in cold weather too. Like 35 degree weather. I used to go to the boardwalk and sit in a bar and drink the aforementioned hot rum beverages, watch them and laugh my ass off. They would come out of the water with their heads , hands and feet, being the only thing not covered in skin tight rubber. Everything but the rubber was a lovely shade of beet.
So … it’s all relative. If the sun is shining and the waves are waving, surfers all over the world will go out in the freezing water (again relative according to region) and surf. People like me will sit in our hoodies drinking warm things and cursing the cold.
The good news is that this is Florida. If you don’t like the weather, wait a few minutes. By Wednesday it will be 78 degrees again and I will be walking on the beach on Christmas eve with my beautiful wife. I will be the one in the cut off s and flip flops.
I can hold out!